Hi Readers and Clients,
Let’s play our cards right and do what works in our primary relationships!
I’m checking in with everyone asking how they are doing identifying their partner’s “Love Language”. Go here to read my last post about the book “The 5 Love Languages”.
As we already know, whatever your “Top Two” love language is, it’s unlikely that your partner’s is the same, so there will be some missed signals. Most of us are providing loving acts for those we care about, but sometimes it’s in the wrong manner. Maximize your efforts by doing things in a manner that feels loving to that person!
One of the things I often see in couples therapy is a certain stubbornness by each person about how things are going. It’s almost as if they need to keep doing what we know isn’t working, to prove they are right. Forget that. Find out what works better for that person, and then start doing that. That’s true whether we are talking about how you handle your finances, household chores, communication or your interactions within the bedroom.
Do what feels more loving to the other person and quit arguing a losers point that it’s “going fine the way I do it”. I’ve heard a million times “But I’m already doing that” once a need is expressed. That never works. Find out what the person wants and ask “how would that look”… or “can you give me some ideas on how I might do better at that?”
Then just do it.